Here’s my perfect pizza: a pillowy crust with just the right amount of crunch. A flavorful, but not-too-overbearing sauce that adds just the right amount of kick to each bite. A layer of mozzarella cheese baked to that perfect level of mouth-watering, stringy doneness. Then, come the toppings. And here’s where things may get a little weird for some of you. I’ll certainly go for those typical pizza toppings — pepperoni, sausage, hamburger, green peppers, etc. Sometimes, feta, roasted red peppers, even cream cheese will tickle my pizza fancy on a given day (lactose-intolerance be damned).
Of course, there’s a bevy of pizza-topping creations concocted by pizza places the world over to choose from. But, for me, if there’s one topping I cannot — nay, will not — live without on my perfect pizza, it is this: pineapple.
Now, for those in the “pineapple on pizza is a horror show” camp who are reading this column, believe me, I’ve heard it all before. Having been introduced to this combination as a kid and having not turned back since, I’m well aware that pineapple as a pizza topping can incite some controversy. My own father, for example, has never understood my pineapple predilection — though he has grown to tolerate it over the years and even goes halfsies on the toppings (half pineapple for me, half anything but pineapple for him) on pizza night.
Learn more about pineapple, the commodity.
And while I see you, pineapple-on-pizza detractors, and fully respect your decision to eat or not eat whatever you like, I have to say that you are missing out on the truly satisfactory, savory-meets-sweet, taste bud explosion of your pizza dreams … at least, in this pineapple pizza-lover’s most humble opinion.
Not convinced? I didn’t think so. There are those who love pineapple on their pizza, and there are those who hate the very idea of it. And when it comes to personal food preferences and tastes, it’s a fair assumption that, more often than not, never the twain shall meet. For evidence, I recently turned to my social media to get pineapple-on-pizza reactions from friends and family, and got a mix of responses, from “It’s good” and “All about it!” to “I like sweet and savory to be separate” and “Nope nope nope. Why? It’s disgusting.”
But writing this column did get me thinking about all the other “weird” food combinations that people enjoy. A simple Google search of “weird food combos that are good” turned up quite a list. Some I had heard of — fries dipped in ice cream (or, to be more specific, that Wendy’s Frosty), peanut butter slathered on a burger, a slice of cheese layered on top of a warm slice of apple pie — and some really intriguing ones I had not — chocolate-covered bacon, for example (why have I not yet had this in my mouth?!). And there’s more — sweet potatoes mixed in with avocado and kiwifruit, Nutella slathered on everything from hard-boiled eggs to uncooked ramen noodles, bananas on pizza.
Wait ... bananas on pizza??! OK, you do you. What’s clear from this search, though, is that people just like what they like, to varying degrees of uniqueness, and grocery stores would do well to not overlook that and embrace the weird a little in their marketing.
Maybe create a one-stop, homemade pizza shop in your store, complete with packaged crusts, sauces, cheeses and toppings that include everything from honey and pineapple to bananas and even applesauce — one of the other interesting pizza-topping concoctions I came across in my Google search. Place Nutella containers next to off-the-cuff items to create an “aha!” moment of “Would that be good?” for the more adventurous shopper. (And, let’s be honest, it probably would be. Nutella is good on everything, amirite?) Use QR codes directed to fun recipes for weird-but-good food creations. If nothing else, shoppers will likely go home talking about your creative approach, sense of fun and inclusivity (all food cravings welcome), and that can only be a good thing. Plus, since many weird-but-good food combos tend to incorporate fruits and vegetables, it’s a great way to get people to buy that produce on your shelves.
Bottom line: Where you create space in your store aisles for the more nontraditional, culinary “freak flag” to fly, the banana-on-pizza lovers of the world will follow. Meanwhile, I’m off to try out some Nutella … on everything edible in my kitchen.